'You Want It Fixed, You Pay' – What To Do When A Neighbor Won't Pay For A Shared Fence

Good fences make good neighbors, or so they say. Is the fence between your home and your neighbors crumbling? Is the fence's sorry state a symbol for your feelings about sharing the cost to repair it? If you have a vision of building the perfect fence that will also benefit your neighbor, but they don't share that vision, what do you do next? A surprisingly thoughtful Reddit thread centered around this issue has sparked our curiosity; those weighing in offered strong arguments from both sides, but a common sentiment was to take the path of least resistance. Strained relationships with neighbors can be a major stressor, and many homeowners have experienced situations where they opted for a personal sacrifice.

These are best-case scenarios. Not every homeowner will have an understanding partner in this decision. Plus, there's the very real financial factor that could be at the heart of your neighbor's response. At the time you're initiating the project, your neighbor may simply not have the funds available to help out. But what if the border fence issue becomes an all-out border war?  If you can avoid it, a conflict with your neighbor adds unnecessary pressure on top of the normal difficulties of life. However, you're only responsible for your part in the game. What if you and your streetmate can't reach a consensus about how to proceed? The opinions and anecdotes from this Reddit thread and others might guide you toward your best plan of action in a similar situation.

It's the end of the month, and your bank account is running on fumes like usual. Paying to maintain a shared fence just isn't feasible. This situation could describe you or your neighbor, so having a little empathy is a humane approach to a dilapidated boundary fence. Several thousand dollars isn't a trifling amount, and fitting it into your budget when you hadn't planned on it can be extremely difficult, if not impossible. 

Among the well-reasoned comments on this Reddit thread, a common theme is that if you want a fence, it's up to you to fix it and pay for it. Many homeowners who wanted fence work noted that they didn't even approach their neighbors to see if they would pitch in. Other contributors stated that, when fencing in their entire yard for their dogs — since their neighbors didn't have pets — they didn't feel it was fair to request that they help pay.

There's a lot to be said for keeping the peace with a neighbor, and many Redditors were of this mind, as well. Still, installing a fence to make both you and your neighbor happy might not be possible in all situations. In many Reddit threads along this theme, some responders simply caved when approached for money, even if they didn't want the fence or agree to the terms.

When it comes to getting along with difficult neighbors, sometimes we have to back down and go along with what they want in order to stave off a big fight. But we all know someone (hopefully not ourselves) who has really gotten into it with a neighbor when the two households disagree. There are lots of nuances to consider when paying for shared fence repairs. If the fence officially sits on one person's property, in many places (different states, cities, or individual HOAs) stipulate that responsibility for the fence is entirely up to them. Conversely, some areas have laws governing how and when splitting fencing costs is necessary, even mandatory. If you find yourself on either side of this situation, it's vital to find out if there are any regulations that outline your responsibilities.

Sometimes there's no reasoning with a neighbor, as one Redditor discovered. Their neighbor had moved so far into the planning stages of a fence that they were ready to make a down payment on the work. The thread's author complained that the neighbor approached them with a done deal and requested a digital payment for several thousand dollars. At this point, given the neighbor's presumption that the Redditor owed them a large sum without ever discussing it with them, bringing in a third party might be the best option. A boundary survey could help to determine that the proposed fence is not your responsibility. If that fails, you may be facing a legal battle.