13 Things To Declutter After A Divorce

There are several reasons to declutter after a divorce. From a practical perspective, it can make a lot of sense. This is especially true if you're downsizing after selling the marital home. From an emotional standpoint, decluttering certain items can also help you to gain closure on a chapter you may well prefer to forget. Even if things ended amicably, removing certain obvious reminders from your space is often best — especially if you're prone to dwelling on the past.

So, what should you declutter? Well, that depends on which items you've been left with following your divorce. Some, like bridal dresses and wedding suits, can be worth donating to help free you from reminders whenever you open the closet. Others, like heirloom jewelry, could be worth keeping in a box somewhere until you're ready to pass it down.

Below, we've explored items to consider de-cluttering after a divorce. Some are physical, while others are purely digital. Some are even based on your senses, like the smells around the house that remind you of your ex. You could choose to treat this guide as a tick-box exercise and move systematically through each one. Or, you could cherry pick a few that resonate most with you. Wherever you're at, if you feel like you need a little more space to breathe after going through a divorce, we hope that you'll find the below ideas helpful.

Few items are likely to remind you of your divorce like the clothes you wore to your wedding. That's especially true if the garments in question are soaking up lots of space in your only wardrobe. Of course, for some, this may not be a problem. But for others, it can lead to mentally replaying the marriage and analyzing everything that went wrong. This is the last thing you want to find yourself doing when you're dressing for work in the morning. It's certainly not likely to help in the moving-on process.

If the clothes belong to your ex, and you're on good terms with them, then you could ask if they'd like to keep them. If so, you could have them collect them, or if you share friends, you could ask one of them to pass it on for you. If they don't want them, or the clothes are yours, then remove them from your home. Donate them to charity, or if you're feeling thrifty, repurpose those wedding clothes into something new. Depending on their condition, you may be able to sell them. And if, after everything, you feel like throwing it on the fire, then why not? Provided you do it safely — ideally outdoors — there's nobody to tell you that you shouldn't. Whatever you choose to do, decluttering the "wedding symbol" from your home could help you feel like you're regaining control — instead of feeling governed by your divorce.

Photographs are wonderful things, and in the digital age, there's something reassuringly "real" about those we keep in frames around the house. But that's also kind of the problem, especially if you're recently divorced and your life's now littered with "real" memories from your wedding day. They could easily pull you into a spiral of bittersweet memories, triggering a range of emotions that you could probably do without.

With that in mind, consider taking them down. You don't have to burn them or toss them in the trash. Instead, you could place them inside a memory box and stash them in the attic, for a time when you're ready to revisit them. If you have children together, then you may want to keep hold of them for their sake — either for now, to look through as they get older. If you're limited on space and are determined to remain as strict as possible when de-cluttering, you could also have copies made and save them to a thumb drive. As for the frames, like your clothes, consider filling them with your own photographs. Alternatively, there are plenty of beautiful ways to upcycle old photo frames for plants and garden decor.

The bed is one of the most intimate spaces in a married household. It is, therefore, an important item to address in your efforts to move on after a divorce. Stylistically speaking, marital bedspreads are often a reflection of joint tastes. They can also be a reminder of the compromises that you made together as a couple. Put another way, if your goal is to remove reminders of your marriage from your house, then it might be wise to refresh your bedding.

So, treat yourself! Source some high-quality, high thread-count sheets, and be bold with the designs. Is there a particular color you'd prefer for your bed sheets? Or is there a certain pattern you've always liked that your partner consistently vetoed? Whatever it is, buy it. Go with a color and pattern that matches your style — not the one on which you compromised when you were married. And if your bed itself was also something of a split decision, then don't be afraid to replace that, too. If it helps you to create a peaceful bedroom and enjoy a good night's sleep, especially after something as stressful as a divorce, then it's got to be worth doing.

It's easy to feel like you need to keep hold of items, especially if your friends and family spent money in order to give them to you. But you shouldn't. Even if you'd stayed married, you could hardly be expected to keep that Crock-Pot that uncle Tom gifted to you for the rest of your lives. If you're going through a divorce keeping those things around that were gifted to you both can, and will, continue to remind you of your marriage. If you're worried about offending your friends, then tell them. Those closest to you are bound to understand, which will quickly assuage any qualms you may have about donating such items to the thrift store.

Before you do, it's important to note that, legally speaking, marital gifts are usually treated as marital assets. Any items that you'd both like to keep are usually distributed fairly (or as fairly as possible), as part of the divorce proceedings. For anything that's left, ask yourself: what do you need? And more importantly, what don't you need? Is there a decadent crystal vase soaking up too much space in your kitchen cupboard? Did you ever get around to using that Crock-Pot? Would you really rather see the back of those gaudy coffee cups that your ex loved? Removing such items from your life could help you feel like you're reclaiming your space, while re-establishing your own personal taste.

Again, valuable items like this may well already have been distributed as part of your divorce proceedings. However, if the dust is finally settling — both in your new life and on the unused china — you might want to think about decluttering it. Perhaps it was reserved for "couples dinners" and fancy occasions. Or maybe it's never been used at all. Delicate china sets can absorb an awful lot of storage space, which is fine if you love having it. But if you don't, it could easily feel like another ghost of your married past. And if that's the case considering either selling or giving them away. Alternatively, if you could use a little DIY to take your mind off things, why not smash them up and reuse that broken china to make some home and garden decor?

If the set technically belongs to your ex, then you can always ask if they want it back. Do so directly if you're on good terms, or consider going through a friend. You could even box the china up and send it via courier. But if they don't want them, then there's no need for you to keep them. Consult your lawyer to be on the safe side, and be sure to keep hold of any "proof" that your ex didn't want to keep the items in question. This will help ensure that you're not violating your ex's property rights when it comes to giving it away.

Regardless how "right" the decision to get divorced was, old Valentine's cards and love letters are only likely to remind you of when times were better. In turn, this can lead you into a spiral — one of self-doubt, and of wondering where it all went wrong. In other words, it has the potential to seriously stall your progress in moving on.

Since these messages are likely very private and personal, you'll probably wish to avoid donating them. Instead, you could put them through a shredder. You could also toss them on the fire. Alternatively, if you're not quite ready to let go of them yet, then box them up and stow them in the attic. Sometimes, keeping old messages like Valentine's cards can help you remember the better times. Especially if you find yourself regretting the past, they could help to reassure and remind you that chapter in your life wasn't wasted. They could also prove a valuable reminder of how much better things are in your new life.

If ever there was a case for doing away with a junk drawer, it's after a divorce. It could be filled with old chargers, batteries, spare keys, random receipts, and even old, defunct phones that they kept hold of. If your partner kept a junk drawer that's still stuffed with items that they kept "just in case," it's a good idea to declutter it. Depending on what's in there, you may just be able to tip it over the trash can and be done with it. But if it's more than old receipts and redundant chargers, then if you're on good terms with your ex, ask if they'd like them back.

While you're at it, make a point of decluttering and organizing the rest of your drawers. Go through them all, pick out any items that belong to your ex, and if they seem important or you think they'd want them back, pop them in a box. Pack it all up for mailing or collection, or have a shared friend pass on the items for you. You don't have to stick to items that are "theirs," either. Even if it doesn't directly remind you of your ex, personal possessions that you no longer use can remind you of a version of yourself that's long-since evolved. Plus, you'll be amazed by how good it feels to open your drawers and actually be able to see what's inside them.

Our olfactory systems are incredible. They have the ability to transport us all the way back to our childhoods. It could be the peachy smell of mom's Sunday cobbler, or the smell of coals on Father's Day, when your dad would inevitably take the chance to enjoy some "me time" over the grill. But it could also take you right back to some of the less comfortable times in your recent past. Olfactory memories are firmly embedded in the emotional control rooms of our minds. That means you can as easily be reminded of the good times, as well as the bad.

After a divorce, there are various things that could remind you of your ex. It could be a half-empty bottle of their shampoo, or the variety of essential oils that they used to love putting in your diffusers. It could even be their chosen brand of fabric softener.

To avoid being caught off-guard by sneaky smells, remove their sources from your house. Make sure your bathroom is cleared of your ex's go-to perfumes, colognes, and bathing products. Find your own favorite fabric softener fragrance. And if you always wanted to replace your diffusers with something more citrusy, do it! The point is to reclaim your space as your own — to make it a sanctuary in which you can begin to grow and move on.

Striking out and shouldering the responsibilities of life independently can be an empowering experience. But it can also feel overwhelming. Old bills, lease agreements, and other documents that have your ex's name printed in the letterhead are only likely to remind you of the time you once shared such burdens together. With this in mind, if you have a file groaning with reams of old paperwork, then consider which documents you really need.

Go through them one by one, weigh up which ones you actually need, and shred the rest. For those that are still important, or that you'd prefer not to throw away, consider boxing them up and storing them in the loft. If you really want to remove your ex's name from your life, then you may be able to access the important stuff online. Many utility and lease providers allow you to create an account, allowing you to view your documents online when you need them.

It doesn't matter whether you were in the throes of building a raised garden bed, assembling a bookcase, or upcycling a piece of thrifted furniture. Whatever the nature of the unfinished project, there are several reasons to consider removing it from your life. It could be that your ex had an annoying habit of starting things and never quite getting around to finishing them. Or, perhaps you started the project together and never managed to see it through. The former is unlikely to be healthy for you to dwell upon, and the latter is likely to feel like an annoying reminder of your divorce.

So, what to do with them? Depending on the project, you could try to finish it yourself. This could be a great way to occupy yourself and your mind with "busy work" at a time when distractions are often welcome. It'll also help you to reclaim the projects as your own, by finishing them "your way" — instead of the way you compromised on. Alternatively, if you'd prefer to do away with the reminder altogether, then you could always sell, or donate, the materials.

Whether or not we want to admit it, our lives are increasingly tied to the digital space. We organize our days via digital calendars, and instead of filling our cupboards with physical photo albums, we keep our favorite moments stored for retrieval in the cloud. And in many cases, our social networks are managed as much online as they are in person. When you get divorced, it can be tricky to unpick your digital web and extricate yourself from the things that still tie you to your ex. But it's important to try and do, especially if you're ready to draw a line under things and move on.

If you have a shared calendar, check it for any appointments relevant to you, add them to your own personal calendar, then remove yourself from the original. For any accounts that you own but your ex has access to, change the passwords. Go through any digital albums and declutter them of old photos or documents that remind you of your time together. And on social media, don't be afraid to unfollow or unfriend people with whom you only ever connected with through your ex.

It's natural, in a relationship, to buy clothes that you know your partner will like. But when you go through a divorce, it can be a good idea to remove these items from your wardrobe. It's not that you intentionally dressed differently in order to please them. And you needn't replace your entire wardrobe. But if you had special dresses, smart shirts, or anything else that you bought to impress them on special occasions, donating them can be an empowering move.

It's not about spite or holding your past-self in contempt. Instead, it's an exercise in moving on. Yes, those old clothes can serve as a reminder of the version of yourself that you've since outgrown. But finding new pieces that are entirely "you" — and nothing to do with somebody else's preferences — could help you reclaim your independence and re-discover your own personal style. More than that, if your ex was particularly fond of a certain outfit, it's sure to serve as another reminder of your divorce for as long as it's hanging in the closet.

When you're de-cluttering after a divorce, think carefully about the jewelry you wore on your wedding day, or that you were gifted by your ex. If it has sentimental value, like a ring that was passed down in your ex's family for ten generations, then you may want to consider giving it back. If you have children together, you may also wish to hold onto it and pass it down when their time comes to get married.

For other items, consider selling them. You could put the proceeds towards the items you actually want, like clothes, bedspreads, and new jewelry that's more your style. You could use them to finally embark on that writing retreat in the mountains that you've been thinking about for years. You could even use them to take the kids on a holiday, thus reappropriating the value of those items and having them fill your mind with memories you'll always cherish. The important thing is to stop those old gifts and jewelry pieces from reminding you of your divorce.